when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
