All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
