normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
