apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
