Just cropdusted the office
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
