Whod you bang
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
My liver just had a heart attack.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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