See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
