Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
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