I wish I could punch you in the face.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
