whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Randomize
