You're a womanizer and a bitch.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
