no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
