so explain again why im purple
no
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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