Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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