were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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