Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
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Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
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do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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