im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
His hands were made for my vagina.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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