Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
