what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
my being single is dangerous.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
