Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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