Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
cat food counts as protein by the way
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize