Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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