Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
