Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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