ugly people sure do ruin things
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Well I just put wine in my tea
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
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