Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I think pants incapable of making pants work
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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