dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
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My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
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Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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