Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
