i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
