I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
