I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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