He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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