I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
