Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
