All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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