I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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