i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
