I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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