she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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