You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
