i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
