i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i will never coherently bang her
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
