I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
