Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
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You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
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Do you remember whose house we're in?
you never un-have a 4some
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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