The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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