Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
