Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
