you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
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I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
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At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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