Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
