I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
