I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
So much rum. So many feels.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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