I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
