I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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