I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
They are going to name an STD after you.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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