"it" just moved
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
