after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
