Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
