i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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