THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
