he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
