Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
